


the end

by confei (Cherine)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, M/M, happy early val's dayy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 18:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9671210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherine/pseuds/confei
Summary: Somewhere along the way he was casted aside like an unwanted doll. He didn’t know when it all started, when the passion turned stale and the feeling of happiness that use to wash over him so often turn into a bitter ball of misery.





	

**Author's Note:**

> u kno what i like  
> angst :^DDDDDDD  
> happy early valentines day :^)  
> srry 4 mistakes its 3 am haha

It was a painful feeling, having his heart clench up like a vice on his heart and eyes stinging as fresh tears fell from his face. Kageyama didn’t understand what he did wrong, where did the relationship he built with his partner go? Why, _why_ was he sitting here alone on his bed while he waited for him to come back?

Why was he even trying, when Kageyama knew that he wasn’t loved anymore?

He hated that feeling, that emotional dread whenever he saw him. His face never gave anything away, always smiling and mannerisms so calm that one would think he was still in love with him.

He knew that wasn’t the case with his relationship. Love was when Tobio was able to kiss him and it made him feel like he was in heaven. It was an encompassing feeling of warmth, a home where he could feel safe. But love was also a passion, a fiery feeling that coursed through his body like fire. The loving intimacy and caress of words ( _“I love you”_ ) and no words at all ( _A slight kiss on the cheek or a soft smile made his body shake_ ).

Love wasn’t when his partner would openly show his contempt for him in public, acting disgusted, or at least disgruntled when Kageyama tried to hold his hand or even show a hint of public affection. It wasn’t reluctant hugging, short unwelcoming kisses or a cold harsh bed, with him waiting in it for him to come home. Love wasn’t frigid, a chill down his spine that made him convulse in all the wrong ways.

Somewhere along the way he was casted aside like an unwanted doll. He didn’t know when it all started, when the passion turned stale and the feeling of happiness that use to wash over him so often turn into a bitter ball of misery.

He stared at the unoccupied side of their bed, running his hand across the sheets as if trying to imagine the person that would lie besides him and hold him till they both fell asleep. Kageyama didn’t remember when his vision decided to go blurry or the world tilt on an axis, but he was sure that something was wrong. Tobio wheezed, feeling light headed and out of breath as he just kept crying, cheeks getting disgustingly red and mouth feeling both dry and wet at the same time.Whimpering, he called him, praying that he’d pick up. It rang until it went to voicemail, perky voice flooding his ears with playfulness and fake cheer. It was like honey, smooth and heavy against his person and suddenly his body relaxed, breathing even and vision coming back. 

When it beeped to signal him to speak, all Kageyama said was “Hello, can you pick up an aspirin after you’re done?”

It wasn’t accusing. It was soft, almost pleading _please, please come back to him, he knew but he still loved him_. The tone was begging for him, but the words were saying otherwise. Kageyama was breaking and he can’t help but want to drown again.

“Please?” He sounded so wrecked, defeated and fed up.

“I-I just— come home when you can, okay?”

Tobio ended the call, choking back tears. He refused to cry again, not this time or any other time because he finally had enough of being played like a puppet, a fool being strung on string and he just wanted to end it all.

He got up from his position and took a deep breath. He won’t fall again. Slowly, he gathered his things in a duffle bag, checking every so often to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Kageyama sat on the floor, eying it and counting the minutes as the clocked ticked by. The numbers mocked Tobio, nearly midnight and no word from him.

It was 3 in the morning when he arrived home.

He put on a brave face, eyes and heart hardened and brows furrowed in frustration. Kageyama sat in the living room, facing the foyer to his left so that he’d catch him coming in. 

“Oikawa-san.” There was nothing in his tone, just flat and monotonous. He went back to calling him by his last name and Oikawa’s heart nearly fell to the floor.

He looked shocked, mildly panicky and face paling in realization. Kageyama relished that.

“Tobio-chan—“ His hands went to fix his hair and hide the marks on his chest that shone like a beacon, telling of his actions that night. Tobio felt more numb as he saw them.

He didn’t give Oikawa anytime to hide, brutally going after him, “You cheated.”

It wasn’t an explosion, but a soft dead tone that cause Tooru to shiver. He shifted from one foot to the next, looking at him like he expected to get punched.

“Listen—“

Kageyama raised his hand, interrupting him, “I get it. You don’t like me anymore.” 

It was serene to watch his eyes droop down and tears pool up in them. It made Oikawa’s heart pump, blood rising to his head. He didn’t know what to do, what to say to make Tobio understand. He loved him, he did. It's just that sometimes it was too much. But how can Tooru let him hear something as stupid as “I’m tired of you sometimes”.

“I think it would be best if we didn’t see each other for a while. I’ll move out for a bit, I’ll swing by to grab my things. That’s best right?”

“Are you saying—?”

“It was nice being with you Oikawa-san but I don’t think I’ll be able to handle this anymore.” he swallowed, suddenly feeling parched but not wanting to hold anything back anymore, “Happy Anniversary.” 

It was a whisper so quiet that Tobio thought he would be unable to hear it, but the words he said were so loud to Tooru. He felt his legs moving towards Kagyeama, catching the site of the bag dropped on the couch and a dark colored backpack leaning on the counter table. It felt like a still movie, watching Tobio standing there, face passive and eyes so blank. If he didn’t know any better, he’d call him a mannequin. Oikawa reached out to him desperately, trying to convey something to him but Kageyama wasn’t having it.

“Please move out of the way Oikawa-san.”

He roughly grabbed his things, not even looking back at him as he stood there like an idiot with his hands trying to touch thin air. The brunet whipped his head, following his partner to the door, stuttering out excuses and half-hearted attempts at apologizing.

“I’ll come back for my things tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

With that he was gone. It took him a bit to understand the situation and a little more for him to actually accept it. He messed up royally, fucked up a relationship he actively and wholeheartedly wanted because he felt drained sometimes and wanted an outlet. Oikawa knew that he should’ve said something, anything to indicate how he felt but he didn’t know how.

In the end it didn’t really matter, he thought bitterly.

Oikawa was left in an empty apartment and their ( _his, it’s just his now because Tobio wasn’t coming back to someone like him_ ) bed feeling so cold. He touched Kageyama’s side of the bed and grabbed onto the pillow tightly. Tooru curled his body around it, pretending that it was him wrapped around in his arms.

He didn’t know how long he stayed that way, but he didn’t want to leave the comfort of his bed that had Kageyama’s presence. He didn’t acknowledge the tear stains on the sheets and pillow.

Tooru thought back to the days they were still happy and wondered where it went wrong. Where he messed everything up, thinking that Tobio was so annoying that he’d do something as sinful as falling out of love with him ( _but only sometimes, because Oikawa was still hopelessly in love with his Tobio and he was just stupid to do something like this_ ) and cheating behind his back. 

Was it the arguments they had? The uneasy feeling of jealously and still underlying anger towards each other from their younger years in junior and high school? Was it simply because they had chemistry, only knowing that their love wasn’t healthy at times, because it was explosive and wild? He didn’t know, and he’s sure he won’t find out anytime soon. All he could do is lie there and hope, pray that this was just a little speed bump in their lives because he can’t bare to let Kageyama go. He wanted to run to him, catch up and tell Tobio that he shouldn't worry, that he was still in love and that he was so, _so sorry why can't he see that-?_

But what choice did he have? He made a mistake, he was caught and now he’s suffering. Wallowing in a pit he put himself into. He gulped down a cry threatening to bubble up in his throat. Oikawa wouldn’t allow himself to cry over his own mistakes. After all, what’s the point? Crying won’t get him back.

He hugged the pillow closer to himself, wishing that he never made Tobio regret dating him. Tooru’s mind flashed back to the face he saw him make when he turned to leave. Anguish, resentment and finality.

Tooru whispered into thin air, willing that some god would give him another chance because he doesn’t want to give up.

Silence was his answer.

He didn’t have the luxury of something as precious as a second chance because one should’ve been enough.


End file.
